if i were you

Oh freak! Oh freak! That is what I would be saying if this were me.

dang you, dang me, dang us together. that's the way it should be.

There have been times in my life when I have been asked to do things that I feel are one hundred percent pointless. When those times present themselves there is usually a great deal of grumbling coming from me. Yes, yes, I am a grumbler. It often times amazes me how well I can grumble, curse, yell, moan, deprecate, and belittle without using even one swear word. I am not the type of person that causes others to fear me because of my words; my muscles can do that on their own. What makes others fear me is my temper. A brother of mine has described me as being like a match head, quick to ignite and yet quick to extinguish. That same brother has also received my patented Death Look on several occasions, which is more than likely the reason that he is able to so accurately describe me. But I think that fear might be too strong of a word to describe others’ reactions to my temper; waiting to see what lunatic-type things I might do or say would be more accurate, I think. I have been known to punch chairs with a great deal of gusto, throw boards as far as I can into empty fields, crush gaming controllers into dust, and, my personal favorite, kick a bucket across the room hard enough that it put a dent in the wall. All of these instances happened with only the slightest amount of provocation from an inanimate object. Some have also been the result of being asked to do something that I feel is pointless such as punching the chair, kicking the bucket, and throwing the board. Crushing the gaming controller was a pure, unadulterated temper outburst.

At the very moment I am writing this I am also playing a cat and mouse game with a fly that seems to think I am its landing pad. I hate flies. In fact I hate them enough that I wouldn’t even respect them enough to eat them. When I kill them I leave their guts plastered to the wall as a warning to all other flies that if they bug me, their guts, too, will be spilt. I have just told the fly with unprofaned profanities that I am a predator and will hunt him till he is dead. He is not dead yet, @#%$&*$.