ladies & Gentlemen, my mom

First prize-grand prize is awarded to my mother. I suppose it is only right to give the award to her since she is the only one besides me that reads my blog. The only difference is that when I read my blog I think how clever and witty I am. When my mom reads my blog she thinks, “I don’t get it,” or as her comment suggests, “Why would you think that?” That last phrase is something that I heard quite a lot as a child. In fact I heard it enough that I married a girl that says the exact same thing to me. The only difference there is that my wife follows that query with, “By the way, you used that word wrong.” Incidentally my wife is the third person to read my blog, but she reads it before it is published to make sure I don’t say anything incriminating about me or the family, and to make sure I don’t use words like defecating when I really mean deprecating. But I usually do mean defecating, in the real sense. As in, pooping on yourself. But I digress.

If you are an unknown, unidentified person that faithfully reads my blog and are wondering why my mom deserves the first prize-grand prize award over you, it is because she is the first to comment on my blog. Better luck next time. Just so you are aware there is another prize for the tenth person to comment. That prize is a lot better than the first prize-grand prize that only gets your picture representing the blog for a week. But just like the first prize-grand prize, you don’t get to find out what it is until you win. So good luck unknown world. You are in a race against my mom!